Have you ever had something or done something that changed your life forever? Good or bad it has affected you in some way or another? Something as small as a ring, or a smile from a stranger while passing in the street. Or it could be something big like bringing a new person into the world. Either way, some things have an impact on you that makes you the person you are today. In my case, it's an injury. Nothing I did to myself and it didn't happen by accident, but that's how life works.
Let me explain. Three years ago I was doing a undermined sport called Synchronized swimming. Halfway through the year, many of the moves were beginning to become painful and it became harder to do. I went to see a doctor of sports medicine and he told me to go see a physiotherapist and a Chiropractor. These three Doctors were only the beginning. By the end of the year, I was in severe pain and could barely do the requirements. Over the summer, I continued going to these Doctors but I continually got worse, instead of better. By the time Next swimming season rolled around, I was in a much worse state than I was the year before. I sat down with my Physiotherapist and we talked about what I could do. I decided to quit Synchro and focus on getting better, so hopefully, by the next year, I could join again. But in quitting I was loosing everything that was my life. The people I was leaving behind were my family. I saw those 7 other girls more when my own brother. But you don't always get what you want in life and I was forced to leave them. My family, my friends, my life, gone. My main focus after that was to get better so I could go back to what I loved. But that plan didn't work as well as I hoped. I went to multiple doctors, 14 to be exact. And None of which could tell me what was wrong with me. There were so many ideas thrown up in the air but as time went on, they realized that most of them were wrong. Some of them were really obscure, whereas others I believe today. Within the span of three years, I have three X-rays, Three MRI’s and two MRA’s. Now, many things have had a bad outcome and I wish to tell you about them. Let's start with the outcome of the x-rays. After they came in (for the third time), My physiotherapist talked to me and said she thought I had something called Osteitis Pubis, which is when your pelvic bones rub together. Now, this would help but there was one slight issue. Osteitis pubis is commonly found in young men in their 20s-30s who do heavy sports like running or biking. I am not a male, I swim and I am 16. My profile did not fit the one that went along with osteitis Pubis, so they threw away that diagnosis within a year. The MRI’s were completely useless but the MRA’s, now those are fun. While having those test I learned one very interesting piece of information about myself. Needles and I, do NOT mix. In fact, my body outright hates them. It hates needles so much I pass out when someone puts it in my arm. It's a weird sensation, going from standing feeling a little tired and slightly disoriented to lying on the floor with a bunch of nurses surrounding you and your father freaking out. Of course, after all this happened, I was forced to sit in a chair and have four nurses, seven needles stuck in my arm and an ultrasound machine surrounding me. I spent 5 hours in the hospital that day when I should have only spent 45 minutes. From that, The Doctors thought The bones of my hips are rubbing together and grinding on itself because I have an extremely deep hip socket. If you think that is painful, let me tell you, it is. The Doctor who told me this was Dr, Ayani, a surgeon at Mcmaster University. He was the First person to say “Yes I’m sure you are in a hell of a lot of pain.” Before that, people thought I was just faking it. I was directed to get a cortisone injection. This involved another needle and as you can guess, It didn't go well. Cortisone is an anti-inflammatory for muscles, joints, tendons, and bursa. The Doctors (I can't remember which one said that) figured that it was a good idea to give the injection a try. I didn't faint after getting this needle, which is good, but the day after I couldn’t walk. Imagine waking up one day and not being able to move without screaming in pain. Well, that's how I felt for three days. This was around the time that our math classes were doing the grade 9 EQAO tests, and I got a big fat Zero on them because I couldn’t leave the house. I spent the rest of grade 9 on crutches. I had to go for an ultrasound to see why I was in so much pain. You may be thinking, “aren’t ultrasounds a way to see the baby inside a pregnant woman?” They are, but they can be used to see the insides of our bodies as well, without babies. This was the only test that showed why It hurt to put weight on that hip. Apparently, while the needle went into my hip, It struck a lymph node, causing it to inflame and swell up. When the school year was over, I was supposed to go to Europe with my Grandparents and my cousin Zoë. I was not better by this time, and still moving places on crutches. I borrowed one of my Nanny's wheelchairs to move around. A Wheelchair, I was stuck in a wheelchair. The injection that was supposed to help me put me in a wheelchair. By the time we came back, I was allowed to stop using the crutches, but the effects of the Cortisone had worn off and it was not beneficial at all. So much for that idea. I still constantly go to a physiotherapist but am making very slow progress. I don't know what to do and how I am supposed to fit in with my peers. I am at the age where so many people are in really competitive sports and work out all the time. Whether it's running, biking, skateboarding or using the weight room. I have a hard enough time walking the 45 minutes home every day. I was told that I should grow out of this injury and hopefully by the time I'm 18, I will be just fine. But It's not given that I will grow out of it, I may not, and then what? Will I get an early hip replacement on both hips? Will they go in and shave off some of the bone in my hips? I really don’t know, and that is terrifying. I am haunted contently by the nagging thought that I may never recover from this. The worst part of this whole experience is that no one quite gets the extent of it. People don’t understand why I can’t go out and wander around with them, or why I have to take the shortest route home every day. People don’t understand that I can't sit in some positions and that I can't do the smallest bit of exercise. They only way people can see that I am in pain is if I wear my knee braces. The problems with my hips have spread to my knees as well so when I do any sort if physical activity, I have to wear them. I hate them, I hate them with a burning passion. People think that being on crutches, and wearing braces is fun and cool. But let me assure you, it’s not. It's hell, and to anyone who is required to wear one, I feel your pain. I had a friend explain it in a very good way. “You are not in control of the cards you're dealt in life, but you have to live with them anyway.” She said that to me last year, but I still remember it very clearly. I may not have a very good deck, but I keep playing the game regardless.
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When we were kids, many of us had imaginary friends. These friends were always there with us when we were down, or sad, or angry or alone. Studies say that 65% of kids have imaginary friends, and some doctors say it's good for kids to have these friends. It helps them practice being social in an environment where they are comfortable. My question is, what happens to those friends when we get older? What happens to the world we built in our heads as kids?
If you have ever been on the subway, you would notice that 90% of the people on it is listening to their headphones. Women, men, old, young, they all have their own taste in music. There is a huge diversity of people who have different taste in music, and by just looking at the person, you would never be able to tell what they are listening to. The beauty of this diversity is that every person has their own identity, and one of the best ways to get to know a person, is to listen to their music. There is a certain type of beauty in what people listen to and who they are. You can’t stereotype people and what they listen to. The old lady sitting next to you could be listening to hard rap, and the scary man with the leather jacket on the other side of you could be listening to slow jazz.
Whenever someone asks what kind of music I listen to, they are always surprised by the answer, and I always get the same response “Wow you like that? Really? I wouldn't have thought you would like that kind of music.” What did they think I listened to? It's annoying how much people don't respect the differences we have. Everyone has their own personality and their own taste in music.` There are people who have a very deep connection to some kinds of music, and it means something to different people. During an interview with Larry King, the bassist from my favorite band (the Red Hot Chili Peppers), Flea was talking about how he got into music and what playing means to him. His dad was a jazz trumpetist, so flea had grown up hearing it and playing it, and he has a very deep connection to the trumpet. He also says that “an instrument is a vehicle for expression”. Music is a way to express yourself and become the person who you were meant to be. If you happen to play an instrument or not, we still use the sounds and feeling of music to show people who we are. Music connects us with deeper feelings inside us that people don't realize. Some of the lyrics may be a little rude or obscure, but the way we interpret it, and feel when we listen to it is what the most important thing is. As a society, I think we are forgetting that very thing. We judge people by what artist they listen to or what genre they listen to, but we rarely ask people how they feel when listening to it and how they interpret it. As a society we assume that there is only one way to view the world. If you like rock you're a goth, if you like jazz you're old, if you like country you're a hillbilly. We seem to forget that we all have different tastes and we shouldn’t judge people by what they listen to. We need to accept the differences we have, because it makes us unique. In my opinion, judging people's likes and interests is just as bad is judging people based on what they look like. Music is the door to what we feel inside, and if we keep throwing hate and judgement at the door, it will never open, and we will never see the person inside. Get a bowl of popcorn, sit down with your friends, turn on the TV, and get ready for a glorious night of body shaming, horrific dresses, tears and awards. This is every social gathering of famous people. The Grammys, the Oscars, Academy awards, teens choice awards, Peoples choice awards, and so many others that I am sure you have never heard of. All actors and musicians say what a huge honor it is to get these awards or if you're nominated for these awards (unless your Samual L. Jackson).
In my opinion, the whole idea of parading people who are naturally talented, or just famous around and giving them trophies is a very absurd. The population is sitting around watching people who are paid so much money to walk around in ugly dresses in front of a camera for our entertainment. I don't agree with these award ceremonies at all. They are noticed for their talent and given awards for it as well. That is all well and good, but what about the rest of us? Don't we get something to award our talents? There may be people who are living in poverty who are just as talented as famous people, but no one knows of their talents because they don't have the time to show people. There are so many people who are just as talented, in some cases more talented than the people who get awards. The whole idea of rewarding rich people for things that so many other people in the world can do better is disgusting. Not only are they rich, all the people who get all this fame are pretty people. It's hard to find an actor or a singer who isn't super thin, or who doesn't have perfect hair. Specifically in the case of singers, there are minimal people who are imperfect. When you look at the voice, the winner from a few years was a bigger man named Jordan Smith, was an amazing singer, he had so much talent. He was a much better singer than many people who on the “Top 100” songs. How many people have heard what he's been up to recently? I certainly haven’t. But have you heard what stupid thing Kanye West has done? Every person who has internet access has. Even though Jordan Smith has more talent the Kanye does, we still never hear about him. Why is that? I think the whole idea of idolizing people with lots of money is ridiculous and a waste of time. The problem is we can not get away from it, the multiple award shows, and red carpet events. The press watching celebrities every move, documenting it and making that more important news then other things happening in the world, like the war going on in the middle east. We are focusing so much on people who have lots of money, and not as much on ourselves and the world around us. Are our lives so boring that we have turned to other people as a source of enjoyment? |